on the mend
It’s just now slowly slipping into fall and my best friend asks me if I think she is in a parasocial relationship while squeezing lime into a bowl of pho.
Nothing is really parasocial, what do you mean, well think about it, I am that’s why I asked, I just think there’s a current, you’re too earthy crunchy, no not in the crunchy way in the soul way, I don’t know if I believe in the soul, maybe it’s not something that needs believing in, like the liver, yea like the liver.
It’s September and everything is maybe different but still tastes like dining hall food and whistles when it laughs and stains the soles of the boots originally bought last October when things really were different. The rain is heavy and there’s a tipped over laundry basket on the floor of the new room that’s now my room. I’m tired, or maybe I just need to stretch or drink water but instead I trace my lips with a color I found in my mother’s bathroom closet and walk to the bar with a raincoat over my head. I’m sitting in Woosley at nine pm and I’ve never been religious but the way the senior in Living Water is singing Amazing Grace at the first year acapella concert makes my stomach or heart or soul or liver or something like that tug inwards. The air is humid and the JE hammocks sway and Hannah reaches to pinky promise something and I can see the blue vein in her wrist twist away from me and I can’t help but think thank god for that vein and these hammocks and friendship that makes you forget that which is heavy. Time slips somewhere past midnight and nothing respectable happens past this hour and I know that so I dance myself clean in a littered back yard and twirl around the artificial lights of the grocery-store-Meca.
It’s swirling and just now slowly slipping into fall and there’s laundry and the potentiality of the soul and hammocks and I’ve never been religious, so I go to class and I go to the bar and if caring too much is a possibility it’s one I am deeply afflicted by. August lays down and perhaps everything’s different but I believe I’m just maybe on the mend so that means it’s probably all good.
